The Great Motorcycle Pizza Tour

A real biker stops to help.
A real biker knows slow and smooth is fast.
A real biker knows exactly why one would want a 50cc bike.
A real biker knows exactly where a 50cc bike can outrun a bigger bike.
A real biker knows the wind might feel good in your hair, but it feels better in your armpits.
A real biker waves.
A real biker knows why gaffer's tape is best.
A real biker knows House of Kolor doesn't make a bike any faster or better-handling than spray on bedliner.
A real biker is never seen at the popular hangouts; he/she is too busy riding.
A real biker isn't afraid to ride alone.
A real biker will want to see your x-rays.
A real biker knows "First we stomp 'im, then we tattoo 'im, then we hang 'im and then we kill 'im" was getting off light.
A real biker never touches someone else's bike when they aren't around. Not even if it would be hilarious to put condoms on the handlebars.
A real biker names his gremlins.
A real biker knows that a weenus on a Harley is a weenus all the same.
A real biker will never tell anyone to "get a real bike."
A real biker will fondly recall riding a Hodaka or Zundapp
http://pizzacrusade.blogspot.com/2007/07/my-take-on-what-makes-real-biker.html